All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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