They should really pass out barf bags in church
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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