biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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