Tell her she can't have a vagina
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
