Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
