9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ladies don't puke and tell
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
