Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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