she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
