I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
