I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
