Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
