I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
