Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
