I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
