My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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