I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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