whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
