So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
