He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
