I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
