Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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