dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
