I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
