then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
