Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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