Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
