i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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