ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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