I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
