didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
