one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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