I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
