I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
