i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
