dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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