we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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