I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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