Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
