...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
