he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
