I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
