Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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