I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
