I think I am morally bankrupt
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
