It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
