omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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