I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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