I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
