The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
