guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
